Sunday, 8 May 2011

The Sunday Times Rich List . . .

I love the Sunday Times Rich List, I believe it brings the country together like a Royal Wedding, from council estates to country piles I bet that list has been examined thoroughly today. I could not find one newsagent with a copy in central London and had to resort to scouring petrol garages in rough areas of South East London until I finally managed to get my hands on one at 8pm this evening.

 The list transcends age, colour, sex & class barriers, not just for the people in it but for the rest of us who are gleaming information from it. The Times circulation must go sky high when they advertise this list.
Just imagine the number of ambitious, nubile young women ( & men) chomping at the bit waiting for a new husband / sugar daddy / kiss & tell story? Scouring the list is so much easier than internet dating, your conquests name, business, wealth and if you're lucky photograph is right there in front of you, all you need to do now is start stalking. I'm sure there are a ton of city boys looking for colleagues, bosses & hedge fund managers to aspire to as there will be the same amount of people just looking for someone to send a begging letter to. You can just hear the new security gates being fitted, alarms being triggered and attack dogs being trained once those on the list realise that every burglar / wannabe kidnapper and lunatic has an actual sales figure to put against their name. I'm sure there are a thousand accountants frantically searching for off shore tax havens for clients who've just realised they have been outed as having rather more than they said they had.

You can also check which star sign is most popular amongst the super rich = Gemini is top (thank you Jesus) while Scorpio is bottom (must take note for future partners). We all really want to see where David and Victoria have landed this year, are his feet still making more money than her "stealing, sketching & stitching" skills? I always like to check just how much of Elton Johns wealth David Furnish should make off with should that new baby bring on a marital breakdown and Catherine Zeta may be bi-polar but I'm sure £180 million in the bank should cushion any blow that a mouth full of valium cannot reach. One of the funniest things to read is how The Times categorises the list: "Millionaires from divorce", "The richest dragons" and my personal favourite "Britain's richest Asians"???! I'd like to meet the person that tops an amalgamation of all three please?

 The thing I find most fun is to see if there are any people on the list I have: worked with, slept with, taken drugs with, bought clothes from (maybe not literally but from their stores) or accidentally knocked a glass of champagne over and I have to say there are at least ten in this years list. I'm not naming names as I'm busy writing begging letters. Lastly, there is a reason The Sunday Times publish this list at the end of Spring/ start of Summer and it's nothing to do with the financial year. Imagine just how depressing it would be to read about everybody who is a million times richer than you when it's cold, dark & miserable outside and your huddled around your one bar electric fire with a "cup a soup"? I suggest you get your list, get a high lighter, mark your top five and then get out there, with as little clothes on as possible and get your man / woman / near death millionaire because according to The Sunday Times Rich List, they've never had it so good.

No comments:

Post a Comment